Self-Advocacy: Friendship Transcript
Self-Advocacy: Friendship Video
Idaho Self-Advocate Leadership Network (ISALN)
(Shiloh) Welcome to "Friendship." How to make friends and how to be a friend. Brought to you by the Idaho Self-Advocate Leadership Network in collaboration with the Center on Disabilities and Human Development and the Self-Advocacy Resource and Technical Assistance Center. I'm Shiloh Blackburn. I will be guiding you through this training.
The purpose of this training is to talk about friendship, why it's important, and how to make friends. Also, you will learn how it makes everybody's lives better.
A friend is someone to hang out with, do things with, someone who treats you well and with respect. Someone who is loving, and understanding. Someone who will be there when you need them the most.
A friend is also someone who lets you be yourself. You don't have to pretend to like the same things they like, or even dislike the same things. An example of this is the fact that I like fantasy and science fiction movies, while one of my friends likes dramas and documentaries. A friend is also someone you can share yourself with, they can share themselves with you, and keep personal things, like secrets, between the two of you.
Friends are awesome people in your life! Their companionship brings joy and laughter. They're there for you no matter what, in good times, and in bad. They also make you feel good about yourself, and make you feel loved and included.
A life without friends feels lonely and isolated, sad, unwelcome, and unneeded. It's boring!
A friend is someone who is honest, loyal, understanding, patient, accepting of others. They have a fun sense of humor, and they support you in good times and the bad times.
You can find friends anywhere! At work, at church, at the gym, in your neighborhood, at school. You can find friends doing things you like to do in your hometown, like going to your book club, playing whatever sport you like, or going to the farmers market.
There are different types of friendships. One type is an acquaintance. This is when people you know may be friendly, but neither one of you share ideas or personal experiences with each other.
A second type of friendship is a more personal one. It's the people who are very close to you. They're known as close friends. These are the people you trust with your life and secrets. They're always there for you, just as you're there for them, and will keep their secrets. They feel like a part of your family.
Put yourself out there! Be somebody's friend today. Smile, introduce yourself. Say "Hi! My name is..." and then tell them your name. Ask them for their name. Find something you have in common to talk about. Be positive! Find out more about them. Ask them about their hobbies, and what interests them.
Share a few fun and interesting things about yourself. For example, I have never been to Disneyland, and I love mysteries. I grew up watching the original Scooby-Doo cartoons.
Making friends is easy peasy! Ask them if they would like to do something with you soon. Once they say yes, exchange phone numbers with them. Do things that you both enjoy. If you have fun with them you can decide that you want to continue a friendship with them.
Friendship is a give-and-take relationship. Be honest, treat others how YOU want to be treated. Be respectful, be kind, and supportive. Don't judge them.
When you get into an argument, try to stay calm, and try your best not to do or say things that you'll regret. Take time out and step away from your friend to think about what happened between you.
This is something I do myself when I'm angry. I don't want to hurt others or make things worse, so I take a little time to think about what went wrong. I think about how best to share my thoughts or my feelings with my friend. Talk to your friend when you're both calm, to figure out a solution to the argument.
When your friend has romantic feelings for you it can be hard if you don't feel the same way about them. Listen to what they have to say. Be honest about how you feel, even though it may hurt their feelings. And tell them how important their friendship is to you. Don't make any promises you know you can't keep.
If they won't take no for an answer there are several things you can do.
- One, be honest and be very clear with the person. Tell them all you're able to offer is your friendship.
- Two, ask someone else you trust to help.
- Three, call a family member or another close friend if you're scared.
- Four, as a last resort call the police if the person won't leave you alone.
A good friend is someone who listens to you, who you listen to. Someone who respects you and who you respect. Someone who cares about and tries to understand you. You in turn, care about and do your best to understand them. Someone who treats you as an important person, just as THEY are important to you. Someone who loves you as a friend, and who you love as a friend.
A friend is NOT someone who puts you down. Someone who's not any fun to be around. Someone who knows you, and makes you feel unwanted. Someone who may make you feel not proud of yourself and your good deeds and successes. Someone who makes you feel like the friendship is one-sided.
For example, say you have a cute blouse or shirt that your friend really likes and they borrow it often, but when you ask them if you can borrow a nice jacket or a trendy shirt of theirs, they always say no.
Who do you have in your life that's a good friend? What do you like to do together?
Thank you for visiting! I hope you enjoyed the training. If you would like to view more trainings, and learn more about self-advocacy and other related topics, please visit idahocdhd.org/isaln.